Pain
by XTriggerHappyX
Summary: Ryan has a sister, that get killed in a car accident, and he is in love with his Boss. What will happen next? Will Ryan find tru love or will he forever live in missery?
1. Chapter 1

Summary:  
Ryan has a sister, that get killed in a car accident, and that he is in love whit his boss,  
just makes Ryan get depressed, because he know he never can have Horatio and he try to kill himself.  
But Horatio fine him, laying on the living floor,  
When its time for Ryan to go home, Horatio picks him up,  
and insist that Ryan stay whit him for someday just to make sure Ryan will be ok...  
What happen when Ryan finds out what the real reason to that Horatio was at his door that day,  
and way he insist on being at Ryans side all the time since they left the hospital.

_**Warning:  
**_Attempted suicide  
Male on male sex  
Rape  
Dark!Fic

**Disclaimer:  
**_I don't own CSI: Miami or the characters, I just borrow them. I promises, that I will return them back in one pieces.  
(Can always dream)_

Another RYan/Horatio Fic from my side.

**Chapter 1**

Ryan was standing in the DNA lab, with Valera, when his cell phone starts ringing.

"Wolf"

"Hi, Im calling from Miami Date Hospital. Are you Ryan Wolf"

"Yeah, that's me" Ryan had a worried expression frozen on his face.

"You are listed as emergency contact to a Mari-Ann Wolfe. Do you know her?"

Ryan didn´t trust his voice to last, so he waited for the caller to continue.

"She was in an car accidence… She is in surgery at the moment; the doctors are doing their best"

Ryan took a deep breath and hope his voice didnt sound as broken as he felt.

"Ok, Thanks"

He closed his cell, and walk quickly out, and leaving a very confused Valera back.

-The Labs Parking Lot-

"Ryan!... Ryan!" A southern accent called after him, but ignoring it, he slide in to the driver set of one of the Hummers and drove off.

Erik walks up to Calleigh with the evidence box, from the crime scene they just got back from.

"What was that about" Eric asked.

"I have no idée"

-Miami Date Hospital-

Ryan walked up to the reception, where a nurse sat. She had short black spicy heir, and green eyes.  
On her chest there was a name tag; that read; Mitch, Allyson, with a picture on the left side of the tag.

"Ryan Wolf. I was called 30 minutes ago."

Allyson checked something out on the computer screen, before she turned her attention back to Ryan.

"Yes, Mrs Wolf…."

He cut her off.

"Its Miss, Wolfe. She's my sister"

The nurse gave him a weak smile.

"Miss. Wolf is still in surgery. Ill call up and tell them that you have arrived."

Allyson gave him the instructions to where the private waiting room was, and watch him walk with heavy steps away.

-Lab-

Eric and Calleigh where in the layout room and looked over their crime scene photos, when Horatio walked in.

"Have any of you seen Mr. Wolfe?"

"We saw him a little over two hours ago" Eric answer.

"We meet him on our way from the parking lot, we have just arrived from a crime scene" Calleigh add.

"Yeah, he took off in one of the Hummers, he looked very upset."

"Thanks" Hi said before the turn on his heels and left.

-Hospital-

"Mr. Wolf" A man in green scrubs stepped into the room, Ryan stud up and shacked his hand.

"Yes, How my sister doing?" his voice was calm, not showing the nervousness or the anger the he had against the man that hade done this, and just run away from it all.

"Im sorry" The man said.

Ryan felt his legs weaken and that he was places in the char by the Surgeon. He let his head fall back and his the wall, as the closed his eyes to regain some control.

"We did all we could, but the damage was too big. Again, Im sorry"

With the little control had, he slowly sat up. "Thanks" He took a deep breath as the Surgeon was about to leave he spoke again. "Are the any papers I need to fill out?"

"Yes, Ill send a nurse in with it" He gave Ryan a weak smile and left.

-Hospital Parking Lot-

After an hour, he was finally on his way, to fine the hummer, so he could check it back in at the lab, and take the rest of the day off.  
When he got the site of the hummer, he didnt just see one, but two, and one red head Lt. Leaning against it.

"Horatio, How did you fine me?"

"All the Lab cars have GPS tracking MR. Wolf"

"Yeah, Right. I forgot"

"I heard about your sister, Mr. Wolf. Im sorry"

He looked at Ryan, and when he didnt reply he showed himself away from the car, one step closer to the man he, started to get feelings for. How it had starts he didn't know, just that they where there.  
Ryan notes' that Horatio, took a step closer and started to unlock the car door, when a grip around his wrist stopped him.

"I need to get back to work, Horatio. I have a lot to catch up with"

He talk non-stop about the evidence he had collected at the scene, and didnt hear Horatio trying to calm him down.

"Mr. Wolf… Mr. Wolf" He took a deep breath "Ryan" it worked Ryan stopped his babbling and looked into his eyes, before his look dropped to the ground.  
Horatio took the keys from Ryan and locked up the hummer.

"You are going to take the rest of the day off" He guided Ryan to his car. "You are not fitted to work… Ill drive you home" He push the younger CSI in the passenger seat he was to emotional tired to protest, he placed himself behind the steering wheel, and backed out of the parking lot.

The whole ride to Ryans place, was passed in silence. Ryan was staring out the window, with blank eyes, and a lost boy look handing over him. Every few minute Horatio would look over at him, at one moment he just had wanted to pull over and dreg Ryan into his lap and hold him, kiss him, make everything better. But he couldnt, Ryan was his co-worker, and hopefully his friend.

As they moved closer to Ryans house, he couldn't stop thinking about Horatio. He had called him by his first name. Ryan had have feelings for his red head boss, from the first time he hade seen him, at the crime scene, Ryan had that moment decided that he wanted to be a CSI, in hope of get his feelings in return, but it all hade ended with, a CSI team that never could stop comparing him with; the high and almighty Tim "Speed" Speedle, and the cuts all over his arms in a desperations to get read off the dark feeling that he, that he would never be a good CSI or that his boss would fall in love with him, that he was a zero, a nothing.  
He was a nothing, had no friends, no family, no lover, and no life outside of work.

The hummer pulled to a stop, and Ryan got dragged back to the world, he looked over at Horatio that was looking at him, with deep blue eyes that glowed with, concern for a friend, and something ales that glowed for a second before it diapered again. He lowered his eyes to the hand in his lap.

"Uh, Thanks for the ride. I will be back on work tomorrow… I promise."

* * *

A/N: Make my day, R&R


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

-CSI Miami Lab-

"Hey, Ryan" Erics voice called behind him, as he entered the CSI Headquarter. "Ryan, wait up"

Ryan slowed his steps down, but kept on walking. He felt Eric grab his arm, and stopped.

"Hey, whats wrong Ryan? You just diapered last shift."

"Nothing, I just didnt feel well" He started walking, but before he got fast the hand stopped him again"

"Come on we are friends! You can tell me"

"Friends?! You think we are FRIENDS?! Ha… You have back talked me, talked trash to me, and treated me like a looser since you first saw me. And now you think we are Friends?"

"Hey, take it easy Ryan"

"No! You take it easy" Ryan yelled, and spun around to walk out of the building.

He sat in his car, to cool down before he hit the road. As a CSI he knew how many car accidents that happened before of people driving in anger.

-Ryans Home-

Home Ryan pulled put a six pack with beer, and sat down in the char that his sister always loved to sit in when she was visiting.

One and a half hour later, and around ten beers later, Ryan was sitting in the bathroom with the pain killers he hade left over from when he was on patrol and one of the suspects try to run him over with a car. That time he ended up with three broken ribs, a broken right arm and four stitches over his right eye brow.

This time he needed the pain killer to something completely different.

Do it the little voice in his head yelled. It hade yelled the same sentence for years now. Always the same sentenceDo it. Take the pills, and get it done. Do it

THIS time would be THE time. He would listen to the voice and do it.Take the pills, and get it over with. No one likes you anyway. Delko, always talking trash about you, Horatio never notes you. Calleigh have her own problems, with her fathers drinking. And Alexx, well Alexx are Alexx, she takes everyone under her wing. So you not different than the others

The voice kept going on, talking about the time Ryan went to; the blue room. That was the hottest gay club back when he was at collage. Back then he hade been drinking and dancing all night, and on the walk home he hade been followed by the local anti-Gay club. Not that Ryan though that everyone in it was strait.

Flashback

"Hey, look whose here. The little sinner" a vice from behind says as the other grabs him, for then push him up against the dirty wall, that have seen more crime that even a CSI will see in a life time, unless your name is Horatio Caine.

They placed a bag over his head, and stripped him for his pants.

"Doggy! You keep an eye out. I want no trouble while I take horse for a ride."

"Sure" the one that was called Doggy answered.

Ryan felt something at his enterers. And struggle against his attackers even more, but no use.  
He was out number and the drunken limbs of his body, wouldnt corporate with his brain.  
The man that took him showed no mercy, he was taken dry, hard, and harder.

"Shit! Hey, Uno. Someone is coming!"

End flashback

The result of that night ended with some patrol car found him laying in the gutter half naked still with the bag over his head, and called after the medics. Ryan was in the hospital five days, before the doctor was satisfied the he didnt have any other injuries, that hadnt showed up at the cat-scan.

Ryan got up of the floor, and in to the kitchen where he kept the little he had of licker.  
He chose the expensive wine he hade gotten from Alexx after he hade solved his first solo case, no one would be able to say he didn't have good taste in wine.

Back in the leaving room he popped the pill bottle open, the wine he had open in the kitchen, he didnt bother to take a glass. Just less cleaning for his parents when they come and found him, he didnt bother to sit down. A little more pain from the fall wouldnt make much different.

Three pills a mouth full of wine, four pills, and another mouth full of wine; and so on to he had taken the half bottle, fifteen at total. The floor came closer and closer, before everything went black as a midnight sky.


	3. Chapter 3

-CSI Miami Lab-  
Horatios POV

Horatio was standing at the reception to get his massages, when Eric grabbed Ryans arm to stop him.

He didnt hear what the boys was talking about at first only that Ryan tried to turn to walk away, and that Delko Again stopped him.  
That's when everyones attention slipped to the yelling Ryan Wolfe.

"Friends?! You think we are FRIENDS?! Ha… You have back talked me, talked trash to me, and treated me like a looser since you first saw me. And now you think we are Friends?"

Horatio turned around to hands on hip and ready to step in, if one of them was on the edge of killing the other one.

"Hey, take it easy Ryan!" Eric yelled back, bad idée.

"No! You take it easy" Ryan yelled, before he spun around on his heels and more or less run out of the CSI Miami crime lab.

Horatio hade known for a while that Ryan would have too much bottle up and then lose in, but not like this. Ryan had always, been careful to keep his name in good health.

Horatio finished up what he started and was on his way to go after Ryan, when Eric walked over.

"H?" Eric asked

"Mhmm"

"I will not tolerate that Ryan yells at me like than" Eric had since day one hated Ryan, after he was hired to replace Speed. Eric didnt know it, but Tim hade Come to him after they had have a big fight only two days before he was shoot.  
Speed hade confessed to Horatio the he and Eric was lovers and that Eric hade accused him of cheating on him with Horatio.  
The next two days Tim spend at Horatios place, Eric never called him, and Tim never called Eric.  
Then the bullets hit and everything change, Speed never got to tell Eric how much he loved him and Eric never got to tell Tim.

"Maybe its you that need to stop Eric" Horatio said, before disappearing you of the building

-Ryans Place-

It hade taken Horatio longer time to Ryans place than he liked. The traffic was a killer because of some big concert that was played the evening.

He parked in Ryans drive way, beside his Red Mustang 96. He had heard that Ryan liked old classic, but never seen it. It had soul just like its owner. But like car the soul can be broken down, one way or the other. Horatio sprinted out the front door, and knocked, No answer, another try, still nothing. He tries the door handle and found it open.

"Ryan? Ryan?" Horatio walk longer in to the house seeing a collapsing Wolfe and the pill bottle heading to the floor.

"Oh God. Ryan!" He run over to where Ryan, had met the floor in a painful way.

"Ryan… God, Come on speak to me" Horatio took two finger and put into Ryans mouth and he started to throw up.

"That's it come on. Get rid of the toxic" After more minutes with throwing up everything in his stomach, Horatio drags a still drugged CSI to the bathroom, he starts to strip him.

"Lets get you out of this cloths, Hmm? And then you can take a shower." Ryan barely notices, and just does what Horatio decided that his body should do. Starting the shower while he supports an unsteady boy, he pulls out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"Horatio?" A woman's voice asks.

"Alexx, I need you to get to Mr. Wolfes place at once"

"Horatio, what have happened to my baby?"

"Alexx, just get your medic kit and get to Ryan" Horatio order as he stripped down to his underwear, and hangs up the phone.

"Come, on Ryan let's get you cooled down a little"

_**10 Minutes Later**_

"Horatio!?" Alexx voice floated true the apartment.

"In the bedroom!"

Alexx walk after the voice, and found Horatio standing at the side of a bed with a very sleepy Ryan.

"Horatio, whats happening?"

"Ryan tried to kill himself." Horatio answered in the saddest the voice someone ever had spoken.

Alexx was at his side in a heartbeat and was going over her baby, in any possible way.


End file.
